More Kinky Prudes
I’ve written before about the mixture of horror and hilarity that goes through my head when I find kinky people excoriating other kinky people for crossing the line and indulging in the wrong kind of kink. Imagine, then, my amusement in discovering this post by Adele Haze:
There’s a mindset which seems to dictate that you consider everybody who had an edgier kink than you a total pervert, whereas you and your friends are simply in touch with your sexuality.
…
So, a person into spanking but not knife play will freak out about knife play. A person into knife play but not latex will point his finger at the latex people. Adult babies get the stick from just about everybody, while folks who are into branding and real heavy physical stuff are reduced to scared blubbering heaps by a hint of simple domestic discipline. Race play? Don’t even start. And so it goes, around and around and around.
What gets to me is that you never know what remark will make somebody shudder in disgust at you. Narrow minds begin to narrow in the most unexpected spots.
It can get totally stupid between people who are all into spanking. Same kink, right? That’s what you’d have thought. And then the Spanking Is Sexual and Spanking Isn’t Sexual camps smash together and begin arguing their point, while the people for whom spanking can be both things depending on the circumstances sit in the middle with their heads spinning. And how about the Role-Play Is Fun and the Dressing-Up Is For Idiots camps? After that you get the Spanking Is Serious and the Spanking Should Be Fun people pitching fits, declaring each other wannabes, pretenders, abusive bastards and all that stuff.
If nothing else, she’s reminding me of how little I miss the spanking discussion boards, which I used to frequent before I got too busy working on this blog and keeping Bethie in line. (Of course, Bethie’s board is different, because she mostly moderates the kinky prudes into oblivion, and she keeps the hissing catfights to a dull roar.)
I come back to your blog over and over due to your tolerance for different kinks. I’m suprised, repeatedly, that kinky people ever are upset by other kinks. It took me so long to come to terms with my own, that not accepting anyone who’s managed to get to that point, if I’m in to that kink or not, is unimaginable.
As long as it’s consensual, I’m good with it. May not want to partake in it, but I won’t comdemn it either.
I’m of the if it makes you happy keep doing it camp, and if it doesn’t make you happy then stop.
I really can’t understand all of the rest of it truthfully.
Speaking of disgusting…
I was mortified when my boyfriend who won my heart when he spanked me during the third time we made love but then never spanked me again for months til I begged for it recently made a derogatory comment during a particularly vulnerable moment for me.
“Well that was really gross, we won’t be doing that gain!”
Which actually made me cry because I love the kink and find grunge to be a little sexy sometimes and because I would really cry myself to sleep more often than not if we devolve into vanilla sex as a steady fare.
I can’t help wondering if his comment was really a statement of fact or if it was just another ploy to keep me quivering in my place. The former makes me cringe, the latter impresses me to no end.
How can I tell? Am I supposed to beg or could I lose him forever if he thinks I’m a kinky freak?