“Look what I have!”
They are never as happy as you are to see a long-lost toy that’s been languishing in some obscure bin for months or years.
Case in point: Leesa.
He looked at all of beating implements on the living room table and said that he was in a rut. (Yay!)
But then he went downstairs, said “look what I have”! and it was just another cane. A pretty one, yes, and festive! But still. Just another damn thing to beat me with.
No, no, no. I’m all done with being beaten, thanks. I am covered with bruises.
It’s time to do something fun now, please and thank you.
And no, the electric fly swatter is not a change for the better. Damn it. Fun. I said fun!
But the bug zapper paddle makes that festive zappy noise! How is that not fun?
You, hush. Zappy is crazy talk. I’ve never understood electricity, which makes for farming a tough idea, but I hate the Violent Wand and all things zappy. I remember the first time that stupid thing touched my pussy ring, I really thought that meant I was going to die. Isn’t that why you aren’t allowed to put a metal knife in a toaster? Or something like that.
And yet, I married an electrical engineer sadist. Huh!
Zot! Zap! Zt-pspst!
Festive, I tell you! ;-)