Summertime, And Nettles
On a rare sunny day in England, Fred went and got frisky with duct tape and stinging nettles:
You need a lot of tape to effectively tape someone to a tree, I wound some around her middle, then taped her hands to the trunk at shoulder height. At this point I discovered it was next to impossible to get her jeans and knickers pulled down so I struggled for a while.
“Serves you right for not picking a better spot.” She pushed her tummy hard against the tree just to make the jean removing more difficult.
Once the jeans and knickers were off I taped her legs to the tree but I was fast running out of tape and had to resort to splitting the tape along it’s length to make it last. (Note to self: you need three rolls next time.)
I smacked her bottom with my hand for being naughty and not letting me get her jeans off.
I looked around for a suitable coppiced tree to cut a few switches but I was distracted by the stinging nettles. I cut a few off and held them in a tissue to protect my hand. I lightly ran the nettles over her bottom.
“What’s that?” she asked.
“Feel anything?”
“Feels funny, what is it?”
“Nettles!”
She wiggled her bottom and I ran the nettles over again. Her bottom had developed some red marks and some bumps.
“It stings.” She complained.
“That’s the idea, stinging nettles should sting.”
I smacked her bottom a few more times with my hand.
“Ow! That hurts.”
I smacked her harder.
So this is why the hits into my blog have suddenly increased!
Thanks
Fred