Spanking Blog: Adult Erotic Spanking At Its Best

In her most recent weekly column, Mistress Matisse fielded a question about what to do when your hand gets sore before the spanked bottom in question does:

Good lord, darlin’, do you not know about paddles? I feel your pain here—I’ve played with people whose behinds were so tough that the old saying, “This is going to hurt me more than it does you” was literally true. My hand would be red and sore afterward, and they’d be saying, “You know, you could spank me longer and harder next time.” Ow.

And yes, some of these people insisted that they didn’t like paddles or other implements, just bare-hand spanking. Perhaps that’s what you’re hearing as well. To these people I say: “I will spank you bare-handed until it becomes uncomfortable for me, and then if you want more—guess what, we’re using a paddle.”

Too right!

Mistress Matisse reveals an intriguing standard of good behavior when enjoying holiday champagne:

“I was very good this year. I did not forcibly disrobe and spank my attorney….”

Mistress Matisse has written a primer on erotic spanking for beginners, in this flavor:

So you’ve played out whatever action frames the spanking, and you’ve got your sweetheart over your knee. Now what?

A little warm-up, that’s what. Massage his/her butt firmly, rub it a little, and whack it lightly. Slap it gently all over, pausing now and then to massage it a little more. Do that for, oh, between two and five minutes, depending on how eager or nervous your lover is.

Now let’s get a little more serious. Ramp up the intensity of the spanks. After each swat, watch and listen to your partner’s response. First you’ll get the flinch, and the tensed body as she processes the sensation. Then he’ll breathe out and you’ll feel his body relax. That’s when you smack him again.

My only quibble: although I understand the value of gender neutral writing, swapping pronouns mid-spanking is not how I’d choose to get there. Just how many people is “you” spanking in this scene?

Her advice on finding kinky people may seem obvious on the surface — it could be boiled down to “get your butt out there” — but it’s still important and righteous advice. This bit from the intro to Mistress Matisse’s column this week gives the flavor:

So, you—or, perhaps, you and your partner—have kinky desires but no idea where to go with them. Here’s how to find out where the other kinky folks are.

If I had anything to add to her advice, it would be a caveat that (as she herself acknowledges) her suggestions are limited in utility for more rural kinky persons. The phrase she uses at one point is “if you live in a reasonably urban area” and the key concept there is “reasonable”. I’ll say what she only hinted at: beyond a certain point, it’s simply not reasonable to pursue kinky interactions in too small a town, or in no town at all. You might get lucky (I did, and I’ve offered advice myself on finding kinky love from the middle of nowhere by online means more useful than the traditional personals sites) but a truly reasonable plan is going to require, eventually, moving to where the kinky people are.

I put it fairly mildly in my advice:

If you get him, you or he will almost certainly end up having to move — but that’s the price you pay for enlisting the awesome power of the internet to fix your love life.

Dan Savage’s recent column collecting advice to young gay people put it a bit more bluntly:

If you live in a little town: Get the fuck out. Move to a big city where there’re lots of people who are gay. You’ll have more dating options, and people will treat you with more respect.

It’s good advice for kinky people, too.

See Also:

• Spanking: The Gateway Fetish
• Bethie's New Spanking Community Site
• BottomSeek: 400 Members And Growing!
• Is It Fun Spanking Boys?
• Spanking Personals For Male Spankees
• Check Out Bethie's New Spanking Personals Site

You know all those guys in the chatrooms, the ones who call themselves names like “Sir LeathyreSmakke” and the like? Well, some guy was jealous of the way those Sirs were hogging all the hot submissive chicks, and so he rang up Mistress Matisse to find out how he could get to be like them. He asked her:

“How do I find someone to do a knighting ceremony on me?”

Me [Matisse]: “Excuse me? A night-what?”

Caller: “You know, a knighting ceremony. I see all these dominant guys online who have “Sir” in front of their names, like they’re knights. So I asked one of them about it and he said I needed someone who’s more experienced in SM to do a knighting ceremony on me, and then I could call myself “Sir,” too. Do you do that? Does it cost anything? ”

Amazing what kids will believe these days.

Apropos the last post, from Mistress Matisse’s latest column on translating BDSM personal ads:

The ad says, “I AM A TRUE DOMINATE, I WANT VERY MUCH TO PLEAZE YOU.” The translation is, “I’m a horny Net geek with no fucking idea what any of this BDSM shit means. I’m just hoping some pussy falls onto my face.”

Indeed.

I’m delighted to report that my Figging.com figging resources directory is now recommended by Mistress Matisse! She writes:

“A kinky man I know recently asked me my thoughts on figging, and I can do no better than to say go read this. I love ginger root…”

And while we are on the topic, do any of you delightful pervs out there have any figging photos or artwork that aren’t already on the site? I’m planning to update the figging directory soon, so if you know of any resources (especially visual) please email me with them or leave links in the comments.